It was back in 1952 when this gentleman , together with other hundreds of Portuguese , left Portugal to Rio de Janeiro in search of a better life and to run from the misery , recession and dictatorship .
He left his family behind, wife and two daughters with the certainty he would soon be back to take them along.
The girls were 16 and 4 ...
The girls were 16 and 4 ...
The first years they heard through the seldom letters, all about his life in this tropical paradise and the bitterness of adapting to a new culture and a new country.
As the years were passing , the letters became Christmas postcards and the lack of news lead his family to start searching through the embassy and with no news, they start thinking the worst.
Life in Portugal carried on and his wife had to survive the difficulties of raising his two daughters alone. I guess she always waited for him to return.
10 years went by and they finally got to know he had started another family there.
Another 20-30 years and they never heard from him, his memory vanished from peoples hearts and time concealed the pain of the abandon. The family assumed at his age , he was death.
His wife died in 1989 with her unconditional love for him and a heart filled with sadness. My husband used to play with her saying he would find him one day.
Soon comes 2001 and together the letter that changed our lives and made us different people.
God knows how this letter ended in our hands..
Our hands were shaking when we finally got the chance to read it , it was from one of his neighbours who sent this letter to an old adress, hoping that by chance someone would get it.
She was appealing for help from someone in Portugal.
The whole idea of finding him was distant , strange and uncertain but there was a light.
So here we go to Rio in search of someone we don't even know , some selfish old man that left his family , someone that had a new family - why would we care?
But the moment we set eyes on him, all the doubts collapsed as we felt we were sent for a reason.
He was incredibly similar to my husband.It was no doubt that this man was my husband grandfather.
There he was in the sofa next to the window, doors open to the street , the torrid heat of the summer in Rio invaded the little cottage house in a poor neighbourhood. Next to him sat new wife. They were both very old , tanned , skinny , white hair and very ill. They did not have a friendly face.
It was hard for him to believe and understand who we were. He was totally confused as he could not see the relation (off course when he left my mother in law was 16 years old).
He had difficulty to accept and believe, who we were, how did we found him , what did we want from him?
He was 92 years old and his head was crawling around with questions and questions - why would he get our visit after 52 years of total evasion.
His attitude was a mix of shame, sadness, uncertainty and he was not a nice old man.
He was certainly embarrassed with his attitude towards the family. He made no questions and we never mentioned the life he left behind.
Life was not nice to him and we guess that his decision to never return Portugal was maybe because he felt he failed reaching for that golden life he was looking for. He was ashamed and turned his back.
Together we found his wife Laureana which was 87 years old and his companion for about the same time as his departure and maybe one of the reasons why he never returned.
She was from Lisbon and we think they met on the boat journey back in 1952, she was taking a new job as a nurse in Rio. She left nothing and no one behind. She was alone in this world.
When we found them, he was badly injured , had bruises and scars all over his arms , she was in a terrible condition due to a brutal infection on her foot. What a scenery !!
They didn't know who we were and we didn't know how we ended up in such a story.
The same day we arrived , we figured out who the neighbours were and we were told the full story about how they ended up living in this neighbourhood, how they were living on charity for some years , what was his job , how did they found an address in Portugal where to send the letter and all this thousands of questions we couldn't stop asking.
They were really nice people that supported them for few years but the moment they realize we were relatives, they all returned to their homes and left the puzzle for me and Gil to figure out.
The days that follow were still somehow illusion as little we knew about what was expecting us and so we concentrated on getting them to an hospital and making sure they would get proper treatment.
My cousin which is also a doctor helped me finding the hospital and the doctor to treat them. Thanks to my cousin, they had the best treatments and support. I can never thank them enough for that.
They finally returned home and we knew that they could not be alone and this was the moment when we started thinking about the future.
What are we doing now?
How will we deal with this situation?
Should we just leave them?
Should we just forget this episode and carry on like if it never happened?
In the end of the day , they were just another old couple in search of help , we could not relate to them as family, we didn't know them at all.
So after some clear nights, we decided that we would ,somehow, take care of them.
Next day we looked for a nurse to give them the necessary medical support at home and found a maid to look after them.This way we could leave and be sure that they were being taken care.
These perfect situation lasted a couple of days as he was not prepared to have someone inside his home and started being aggressive.
Next day ,my life was - me , Gil , two kids and two old persons... My life changed!
We had to decide their future. Oh my God , what a responsibility. One day we are on holiday in Rio and next day we to take care of this couple.
We thought a lot about it and disregarded the family bounds when deciding to adopt them.
Should we bring them to Portugal?
This was not such a good idea , they would not resist to the flight and they would have troubles adapting to the weather.
We decided to look for retirement houses and found one that was simple but clean and with medical assistance. We didn't really know how to take them there, how to make them leave their house. We told them they were going to the hospital.
That was a very touching moment as I felt when we left the house, they would never be back. It was a sad thought.
They soon adapted to their new life and home. We made their room homely and attached photos of our family so they would know, we would come back.
Slowly they got to know us, start to trust our decisions and we became their only family, in fact, they became our family too.
Through the years we became closer and attached to them. They were part of our plans , the kids were involved and we had one more reason to go to Rio.
We never asked him about his reasons to leave his family and we never judged him either. Sometimes, life gives you no alternatives and the reasons that are ununderstandable for us are the only way out.
During the year my cousin Adelaide was an incredible support to them by visiting and bringing them all they needed. We can never thank them for that.
He was the first to pass away at the age of 96 and she died one year later at 91 years old. It was difficult for her as she missed his company but also because she was worried we might not take care of her.
We went to see her every time we were in Rio.
In 2004, we spent Christmas in Rio and on Christmas Day we went to see her.
When we arrived, she sat right on the bottom of garden , with her little watering eyes crying of sadness and loneliness.
All the others had their families around in such a special day but she was alone.
Suddenly we arrive ,she sees the family arriving and starts calling every one's attention saying «My family has arrived
This moment was our pay-back. We miss them and will never forget them.
