How my husband found his grandfather after 50 years desapperead

It was back in 1952 when this gentleman , together with other hundreds of Portuguese , left Portugal to Rio de Janeiro in search of a better life and to run from the misery , recession and dictatorship .

He left his family behind, wife and two daughters with the certainty he would soon be back to take them along.
The girls were 16 and 4 ...

The first years they heard through the seldom letters, all about his life in this tropical paradise and the bitterness of adapting to a new culture and a new country.

As the years were passing , the letters became Christmas postcards and the lack of news lead his family to start searching through the embassy and with no news, they start thinking the worst.

Life in Portugal carried on and his wife had to survive the difficulties of raising his two daughters alone. I guess she always waited for him to return.

10 years went by and they finally got to know he had started another family there.

Another 20-30 years and they never heard from him, his memory vanished from peoples hearts and time concealed the pain of the abandon. The family assumed at his age , he was death.

His wife died in 1989 with her unconditional love for him and a heart filled with sadness. My husband used to play with her saying he would find him one day.

Soon comes 2001 and together the letter that changed our lives and made us different people.

God knows how this letter ended in our hands..

Our hands were shaking when we finally got the chance to read it , it was from one of his neighbours who sent this letter to an old adress, hoping that by chance someone would get it.

She was appealing for help from someone in Portugal.

The whole idea of finding him was distant , strange and uncertain but there was a light.

So here we go to Rio in search of someone we don't even know , some selfish old man that left his family , someone that had a new family - why would we care?

But the moment we set eyes on him, all the doubts collapsed as we felt we were sent for a reason.

He was incredibly similar to my husband.It was no doubt that this man was my husband grandfather.

There he was in the sofa next to the window, doors open to the street , the torrid heat of the summer in Rio invaded the little cottage house in a poor neighbourhood. Next to him sat new wife. They were both very old , tanned , skinny , white hair and very ill. They did not have a friendly face.

It was hard for him to believe and understand who we were. He was totally confused as he could not see the relation (off course when he left my mother in law was 16 years old).

He had difficulty to accept and believe, who we were, how did we found him , what did we want from him?

He was 92 years old and his head was crawling around with questions and questions - why would he get our visit after 52 years of total evasion.

His attitude was a mix of shame, sadness, uncertainty and he was not a nice old man.

He was certainly embarrassed with his attitude towards the family. He made no questions and we never mentioned the life he left behind.

Life was not nice to him and we guess that his decision to never return Portugal was maybe because he felt he failed reaching for that golden life he was looking for. He was ashamed and turned his back.

Together we found his wife Laureana which was 87 years old and his companion for about the same time as his departure and maybe one of the reasons why he never returned.

She was from Lisbon and we think they met on the boat journey back in 1952, she was taking a new job as a nurse in Rio. She left nothing and no one behind. She was alone in this world.

When we found them, he was badly injured , had bruises and scars all over his arms , she was in a terrible condition due to a brutal infection on her foot. What a scenery !!

They didn't know who we were and we didn't know how we ended up in such a story.

The same day we arrived , we figured out who the neighbours were and we were told the full story about how they ended up living in this neighbourhood, how they were living on charity for some years , what was his job , how did they found an address in Portugal where to send the letter and all this thousands of questions we couldn't stop asking.

They were really nice people that supported them for few years but the moment they realize we were relatives, they all returned to their homes and left the puzzle for me and Gil to figure out.

The days that follow were still somehow illusion as little we knew about what was expecting us and so we concentrated on getting them to an hospital and making sure they would get proper treatment.

My cousin which is also a doctor helped me finding the hospital and the doctor to treat them. Thanks to my cousin, they had the best treatments and support. I can never thank them enough for that.

They finally returned home and we knew that they could not be alone and this was the moment when we started thinking about the future.

What are we doing now?

How will we deal with this situation?

Should we just leave them?

Should we just forget this episode and carry on like if it never happened?

In the end of the day , they were just another old couple in search of help , we could not relate to them as family, we didn't know them at all.

So after some clear nights, we decided that we would ,somehow, take care of them.

Next day we looked for a nurse to give them the necessary medical support at home and found a maid to look after them.This way we could leave and be sure that they were being taken care.

These perfect situation lasted a couple of days as he was not prepared to have someone inside his home and started being aggressive.

Next day ,my life was - me , Gil , two kids and two old persons... My life changed!

We had to decide their future. Oh my God , what a responsibility. One day we are on holiday in Rio and next day we to take care of this couple.

We thought a lot about it and disregarded the family bounds when deciding to adopt them.

Should we bring them to Portugal?

This was not such a good idea , they would not resist to the flight and they would have troubles adapting to the weather.

We decided to look for retirement houses and found one that was simple but clean and with medical assistance. We didn't really know how to take them there, how to make them leave their house. We told them they were going to the hospital.

That was a very touching moment as I felt when we left the house, they would never be back. It was a sad thought.

They soon adapted to their new life and home. We made their room homely and attached photos of our family so they would know, we would come back.

Slowly they got to know us, start to trust our decisions and we became their only family, in fact, they became our family too.

Through the years we became closer and attached to them. They were part of our plans , the kids were involved and we had one more reason to go to Rio.

We never asked him about his reasons to leave his family and we never judged him either. Sometimes, life gives you no alternatives and the reasons that are ununderstandable for us are the only way out.

During the year my cousin Adelaide was an incredible support to them by visiting and bringing them all they needed. We can never thank them for that.

He was the first to pass away at the age of 96 and she died one year later at 91 years old. It was difficult for her as she missed his company but also because she was worried we might not take care of her.

We went to see her every time we were in Rio.

In 2004, we spent Christmas in Rio and on Christmas Day we went to see her.

When we arrived, she sat right on the bottom of garden , with her little watering eyes crying of sadness and loneliness.

All the others had their families around in such a special day but she was alone.

Suddenly we arrive ,she sees the family arriving and starts calling every one's attention saying «My family has arrived

This moment was our pay-back. We miss them and will never forget them.

Tropical Fruit salad with Ginger and Lemongrass

This is my favorite fruit salad and I have been doing it for many years specially in the Summer.

Usually I make a bigger portion so we can keep it in the fridge at least for one more day, it is even better when chilled.

60grs of sugar

1 piece of fresh ginger (1cm)

1 stick of lemongrass

2 passion fruit

1 papaya

1 melon

2 mango's

1 small pineapple

12 fresh lychee's

5 leaves of mint

Place the suger, the ginger and the lemongrass in a sauce pan.

Add 125 ml of water and bring it to boil for 10 minutes. Let it cool , remove the ginger and the lemongrass and add the passion fruit pulp.

Clean the fruit from all skin and seads anc cut in medium pieces.

Place all fruit in a serving dish and add the sirup.

To finish put the mint leaves.

Grilled Vegetables with Balsamic Vinegar

4 small aubergines

5 tomatoes

2 red peppers

1 green pepper

2 courgettes

100ml olive oil

2 mozzarella

45grs black olives

1 garlic clove

3 soup spoons of capers

2 soup spoons of balsamic vinegar

salt and pepper

Cut the aubergines and the tomatoes in slices of around 1,5 cms.

Slice the peppers in halves and clean the seeds. Cut slices.

Cut the courgettes in a a diagonal.

Pré-heat the oven or grill.

Sprinkle the vegetables with olive oil and salt.

Star to grill the tomatoes with cut face down. let all vegetables grill for around 5 minutes.

Place the grilled vegetables in a serving dish , add the mozzarella in small pieces, add the olives, add the capers, add the finely shopped garlic and finally finish with the balsamic vinegar and the olive oil.

Check for salt and pepper.

Hands are the heart's landscape.- Pope John Paul II

I love hands ,

they are the mirror of our soul.

I write my vision about hands and leave some famous statements so we all think about it and start paying attention to the way our hands speak to the world.

The mind has exactly the same power as the hands: not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.- Colin Wilson

Fine art is that in which the hand, the head, and the heart of man go together.- John Ruskin


The pressure of the hands causes the springs of life to flow.- Tokujiro Namikoshi

******************************

Hand in Hand

To share secrets

To share joy

To share suffering

Hands to say I love you

To confort and to warm up

Twisted finger on wedding days

Wisdom hands

Hand in Hand

For a walk

For a Lifetime

For the family

Hands with history

Working hands

Hands that work the land

Hands that save lives

Hands that reach the stars

Hands that hold the fall

Hand that play, that engrave that fight

Hands that write the future

Hands that bring life

Hands of tenderness

Used hands

Magic hands

Warrior hands

Lovely creative hands

Hands of victory

Hands of prayer

Hands on waiting

Hands to rule the world



Hands against racism

Hands of mercy.

EL BULLI RESTAURANT

Some 180 kms from Barcelona and another 70 from Perpignan , in the tyne village of Las Rosas, sits the world's best restaurant El Bulli.

El Bulli is a three Michelin star restaurant run by chef Ferran Adrià.

This place was founded in 1961 by a German couple, who wanted a restaurant for a piece of land he had purchased.

The name "El Bulli" came from the French bulldogs they owned.

The first restaurant was opened in 1964. Ferran Adrià joined the staff in 1984, and was put in sole charge of the kitchen in 1987.

In the mid-1990s a new style of cuisine began to be forged in elBulli and in 1990, the restaurant gained its second Michelin star, and in 1997, its third.Today, this style is fully consolidated.

The small restaurant has been described as "the most imaginative generator of haute cuisine on the planet"with a great deal of work done on molecular gastronomy.

The restaurant has a limited season from April to September; bookings are taken on a single day in the previous October. It accommodates only 8,000 diners a season, with 800,000 people calling to try and book places — around 400 requests for every table.

The average cost of a meal is €250;

As of April 2008, the restaurant employed 42 chefs.

2007. Ferran Adrià in a Disney film. In May of last year, Walt Disney Productions suggested that Ferran Adrià lends his voice to one of the characters of his new cartoon’s production. It is about the Ratatouille film, which is set in Paris and concerns with the world of high cuisine.

But Ferran Adrià is also involved in another spetacular project.

Hacienda Benazuza - in a small village outside Seville , the detailed and careful renovation, transformed this 10th century Moorish farmhouse into a fantastic 5 star hotel.

It is one of the most spectacular hotels of the world and combined with first class cuisine, makes your stay a truly memorable experience.

http://www.elbullihotel.com

Married Life

I guess that after 20 years of a happy marriage I have legitimacy to speak about it.

I know that all I may say will be read or not, taken in consideration or not , understood or not but still I owe a statement about what i think married life should be.

The doubts come quickly to your head, specially when society made it so easy to undo.

Is it going to be as we expected?

One of the misunderstandings about marriage is that people tend to think that marriage is a 50/50 deal but in the end it is no more than two people giving 100/100 all of the time.

I was young , my generation was becoming selfish, my career was only starting - so why did it last?

What makes a marriage work?

The key is empathy. It means being able to put yourself in another's position, to feel what they feel and see what they see, without losing yourself in the process.

For me is all down to a list of key points that all together make married life wonderful.

• Never assume - think that all you have today , might quickly go away tomorrow.
• Compliment more than you criticize.
• For each time you moan about your husband to your family and friends, tell three positive stories.
• Remember that it is ok to do things differently - there is more than one way to peel a potato.
• Marry someone that you enjoy listening and talking to.
• Be fair! Split the housework (involve your husband in the kitchen, they love it!)
• Never go to bed angry. (Unless it's 3a.m. and you're exhausted, angry, and not thinking straight.)
• Before starting an argument, consider if it's really worth it. Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that matters.
• Respect each other's privacy and individuality.
• Surprise each other now and then.
• Have one date night at least every two months - leave the kids and take a day or one afternoon for both of you.Set up a romantic weekend !
• Never pass up an opportunity to say "I love you".Hold hands and Hug & kiss every day (several times a day actually!).
• Keep the in-laws out of your marriage!
• Never keep secrets from each other. Communication is the key , talk, talk , talk.
• Listen - this could be the most important one ever.
• Always respect each other.
• Don't compare your marriage to others. What you see on the outside is not always what it is on the inside
• Accept differences - No one is perfect.
• Give gifts
• Smile often - I would say: smile always as it is contagious - laughter is like smiling and as they say: it is medicine.
• Touch - intimacy between married people is very important and touching is a mean of communication that reflects closeness, connection and love;
• Talk about dreams
• Encourage - positive support and being there for one another !
• Slow down ~ and don’t jump to conclusions; always give the benefit of the doubt .
• Ask for each others’ opinion - absolutely.Your decisions will reflect both your lives.
• Look your best - I know that this is not easy to implement since we face different situations all day long, however; it does count that you make the effort to look your best every once in a while .
• Forgive - from the heart
• Admit that you made a mistake.Be quick to say "I'm sorry".
• Ask, “What can I do to make you happier?”
• Be sensitive to each other’s sexual desires ~ more importantly; understand these desires and keep the communication going.
  

I hope that somehow I can contribute with some advise and my experience helps building happy marriages - THIS IS POSSIBLE!!

Monika's Smoked Trout Mousse

Serves 4-6

2 smoked trout filets

250 grs Philadelphia cream cheese

1/2 lemon juice - freshly squeezed

1/3 cup of heavy cream

Shred the filets in the mixer. Add the cream cheese and the lemon, then add the cream.

Taste for lemon juice. Refrigerate in mold for several hours.

Serve with cressonette or salad on toast.

Chocolate Demi Cuit with Red Fruits Coulis

Serves 16

8 eggs at room temperature

500 grs chocolate Valrhona

200 grs of butter at room temperature

400 grs sugar

200 gras self raise flour

Preheat the oven at 200º

Beat the yokes with the sugar until you get a soft and whitened cream.

Add butter and keep mixing.

Place the chocolate in a sauce pan and place it in heat over a pan with water, leave it to melt.

Add the melted chocolate to the egg mixture while warm and beat for 2 min.

Add slowly the flour alternating with the whipped whites.

Wrap the molds with butter and vegetable paper.

Fill the molds and place in oven for 15 min.

Before you take the cakes out of the mold, sprinkle with powder sugar.

You can also leave the cakes on the mold as I did in this pictures.

Red Fruit Coulis

250 grs of red fruits - strawberry's, redcurrant, raspberry's

1 soup spoon of honey

1 cm of ginger

1 cinnamon stick

1 small glass of port wine

Add all ingredients and bring to boil in slow heat for 15-20 min.

Eggplant and Prawns Pie

Serves 6

4 eggplants

olive oil

2 onions

6 big tomatoes

1 kg of Prawns

Cream

Grated cheese

Peal the eggplant and make slices of around 1 cm and place in a bowl with water and salt.

Remove the skin and the heads from the prawns. Put the these in a sauce pan with water, bunch of herbs, garlic glove, one onion, pepper seeds. Let is cook well and simmer - you will be using this on the tomato sauce.

In a sauce pan , place the olive oil and the sliced onions. Let it cook for a little until golden and add the tomatoes previously removed form the seeds (can keep the skin). Let it drain all liquids and now add the stock made from the prawns skins and heads. Let it cook well. Put the sauce in a food processor and make a puré. Add the cream and reserve.

Now, it is time to start frying the slices of eggplant. Dry them in kitchen paper and coat with flour. Fry in hot vegetable oil. They need to be very well dried in kitchen paper to remove excess oil.

In a small sauce pan put olive oil and let it gets very warm. Add the dried prawns and just mix quickly and remove.

In a big pirex start layering first the eggplant , then the prawns and last the tomato sauce, make this operation until top and the last should be eggplant. Put tomato sauce over and sprinkle with cheese.

Take to oven fro 15 - 20 min.

Monika's Coconut Macaroons

3/4 cup sugar (170grs)

250 gras sheredded coconut

2 large egg whites

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

pinch of salt

Preheat oven at 175º

Line baking pan with vegetable paper.

In a large bowl mix coconut, sugar, egg whites, vanilla and salt.

Wet hands and shape into 2 cms balls or with ice cream scoop.

Place on baking sheet about 3 cms apart.

Bake 16 min until golden brown, rotating them half way.

As a variation, you can add either melted chocolate to the mixture or chocolate chips.

Dip bottoms in melted chocolate.

The Waldorf Astoria Hotel NYC

I have always been fascinated by the quality standard of the service at the Waldorf Astoria in NYC and many articles I read about the formula for the success but it was not until recently that I really understood why this hotel built in 1900 is still today in the XXI century the greatest icon of the art deco style and a reference for luxury and customer service.

Its first location was Fifth Avenue and 34th Street but in 1930, the hotel was dismantled and replaced by the Empire State Building. This famous hotel was then rebuilt at 50th St. and Park Ave.

It all started in Philadelphia, on a thunderstorm night at the end of the XIX century.

In a small hotel, an old couple walks in and asks for a room. The receptionist kindly informs they are sold out as well as all hotels in Philadelphia due to many conventions in the city.

The receptionist see the worried faces of the old couple and decided to offer them his own room for the night and says he says:

- Its a thunderstorm night you can't go outside now, I am glad to sleep in the coach!

The couple refuses the offer but the receptionist insists and they end up accepting.

Next morning, the man asks to speak to the receptionist and says to him:

- One day , I will built an hotel and you will be the right person to manage it.

The young man took this phrase as a compliment and returned to his work without thinking more about this.

Years later , the young receptionist receives a letter together with a train ticket to NYC. Surprised he starts his journey and waiting for him was the old man from the thunderstorm night that took him to the corner of 5th Avenue with 34th Street and said pointing at the magnificent red stone builing:

- This is the hotel I built for you to manage.

This old man was William Waldorf Astor and the hotel was the recently opened Waldorf Astoria.

More than one Hotel , a Legend!

Me, Monika and the Kitchen

Dinner April 12th at my place

Some weeks ago, me and my friend Monika decided to spend a day in my kitchen sharing our passion for cooking.

Monika and I became friends through work as during her many visits to Portugal we wouls always ended up talking about cooking , marriage and life so we got closer as we had so much in common.

First she has a very happy marriage which immediately puts us in real connection and after she loves house affairs, gardening , flower arrangements and she is an excellent cook.

Because she lives abroad, she has always lots of news about cooking and great tips on hosting at home and she makes the worlds best Lemon Cake (with Portuguese lemons I must say...), she gave me the recipe for the best FOIS GRAS Terrine and Hummus and she also introduced me to Home Gourmets http://homegourmets.blogspot.com/ but more she is an adorable multi cultural girl and I believe that our story has only began.

We then spent the morning shopping at the Gourmet Supermarket at El Corte Ingles and once home we put our hands into work.

We asked my daughter Bia to make her famous Spicy Goat Cheese Paste, followed by:

Smoked Trout Mousse - because we could not find Trout , Monika used Herring and it was just perfect too!

Eggplant and Prawns Pie

Chocolate Demi-cuit with Red fruits Colis

BUT...

Nothing worst for a cook than to spend a full day cooking and nobody to appreciate it, so we decide to invite some friends to join us and share some of the delicious flavours we prepared.

We finished with a good wine and lots and lots of talk.

I will soon post the recipes of our menu.

We had a fantastic day and I believe that only people with same passion for cooking can experiment this feeling!

Thanks Monika!

Brick Tunisien

On Sunday we cooked home and I always wanted to see how easy they make Brick - their national starter.

After learning from the neighbours , my mother made them for us and here is the receipt.

6 Small Brick Pastry

2 small potatos

1/2 onion

1/2 can of tuna

6 eggs

Salt and pepper

Small bunch of parsley

First fold the edges of the brick pastry making a square and then fold in triangles.

Put a weight over so they keep their shape.

In a pan place the potatoes and the onions in slices. Add water to cover, salt and let it cook slowly until the potatoes are mashed. If need add a little more water.

Remove to a plate and add the chopped parsley.

Put the vegetable oil on a frying pan and let it warm over medium heat.

Start building the brick on a plate or very smooth surface:

Open the triangle

Put a small spoon of the potato mash in each side.

Add small spoon of tuna on top.

Holding the corner with one hand, break the egg inside

Fold it back and slide it to the warm oil pressing the closing corner with a wood fork so it stays still and do not open.

Turn it to the other side and remove.

This is a very quick process as you want to egg yoke to be soft.

Place it on absorvant paper and eat warm.

Bon apetit

THREE - Prepare to cook

As I said before, the secret it to have all the basic ingredients in your kitchen.

Start by getting:

Flours - I use self raising and regular ,rice flour

Sugar - have white and brown.

Rice - long grain , arborio, Jasmin.

Pastas - spaghetti, penne , pappardele

Don't forget polenta , cous cous , red beans, butter beans, lentils - unless you don't use them regularly.

Most important:

Olive oil, vegetable oil and if you use sesame oil or Brazilian dende oil which is indispensable for a good «Camarão Baiana» - Prawns Bahia.

Vinegar - red and white wine and balsamic.

Wine - red and white for cooking.

Olives and capers

If you are a good cook and like trying , don't forget to have also:
Good tomato sauce

Curry paste and Laksa (spicy past used on Asian cooking)

Preserved baby tomatoes

Tuna , anchovies and haring

In the fridge , have always Parmesan and a basic «flamengo» or cheddar, also if you enjoy, have a blue cheese and a ricota.

Don't forget dairy products such as milk, yogurt, butter and cream.

Excellent base flavours but only if you are into cooking different food - Asian, Italian, Etc.

Mustard's - regular Dijon and also old grain mustard

Chutneys, Chilly sauce, Oyster sauce, Soy Sauce, Paprika

ORGANIZE YOURSELF

Before you store your fresh products, make sure you clean them first:

Remove all fat and nerves from steaks

Clean and cut chicken

Clean the vegetables and put them in fridge

(to bring salad alive , before serving put the leaves in cold water and some ice cubes).

Chop onions , garlic , ginger and place in small recipients in fridge.

Freeze lemon or lime juice and freeze in ice cubes tray - you will appreciate it...

Remove from the fridge any cheese or chocolate at least 2 hours before serving so they get their full flavour.

If you are one of those persons that like to cook meals in advance, be careful as meat , chicken and seas food can be really dry when heated.

Fresh herbs should be chopped when needed as they lose flavour and colour.

Salads should seasoned just before serving.

Tunisian Way

I've returned from Tunisia just less than a week ago...
I was visiting in business and let me tell you honestly, it was not my favorite destination...
At least not until I started calling it home.
I have visited so many times but only after my sister Ana and her family moved there , I started enjoying the family feeling of a cosy home and peaceful environment.
Off course that all come together when my mum, the most Arab of all Portuguese , moved there too.
Believe be that life in quite Monastir was never the same again and you know, I almost understand her.

Tunisia is a place you learn to love for its quite streets ,busy souk, crowded streets , chaotic traffic but specially for something that has the ability to bring you back some 20 years offering the best fruit and vegetables market, the best fresh fish and you know it is organic.

Off course that my mother is not an average woman of 64 that finally decides to move... to Tunisia!!
She is someone living her life intensely as she embrace the culture and adapts to the way of life, she greats people on the streets, eat on their homes and believe me, learned how to make the best Lamb Couscous and how to get the best bargain.
We are so proud of her determination on taking the best life can offer and to see her that happy is just a blessing.

This hospitable land of colors and contrasts, spices and scents invites you to enjoy its natural beauty, ancient cities and warm friendliness of its people. The land of the familiar and the exotic where one can watch the sunrise over the Sahara.





An ideal climate, a long and gentle seacoast, has for over 3000 years witnessed the passage of Romans, Vandals, Byzantines, Turks, Spanish and French.
They came as fugitives or adventurers, to conquer or to claim, warriors and missionaries, traders and farmers each leaving a part of their story in stone or mosaics, on hills of Carthage and the threshold of the Sahara.